Is your daughter pregnant?

She's pregnant...

It can be shocking to discover that your daughter is pregnant. It is common for parents to experience powerful emotions including anger, disappointment and fear. Some parents might be excited at the prospect of becoming grandparents.

Your daughter, too, has probably experienced a whole mixture of emotions since discovering she is pregnant. She too might be scared and angry, but many young women also feel excited about this big event and pleased that they are able to conceive.

It might be absolutely clear to her whether she wants to continue with this pregnancy or not, but it is likely that she will need some support to help her make the decision that is right for her.

First steps

Let her know that she has done the right thing to talk to you and that you will support her as well as you can.

Your daughter should see a doctor who can help her to establish what stage her pregnancy is at and what her options are at this stage. If she does not want to see the family doctor she can make an appointment at a young people’s clinic like Brook or a family planning clinic or she can see another GP by asking for a family planning appointment. These places can provide information and support as your daughter makes her decision.

Supporting her to make a decision

You might have strong feelings as to whether your daughter should continue with or end her pregnancy. Your feelings might be because of practical considerations about her and her future, your life, or because of your own beliefs about sex, marriage and family life, pregnancy and abortion.

Your daughter will probably take your thoughts and feelings into account when considering her options, but she needs to make her own decision based on calm supportive discussion, accurate information and an opportunity to reflect on her own feelings. If she feels under pressure to comply with your view, she may make a decision that she will come to regret. She needs to know that whatever decision she makes you will give her the support she needs.

A useful tool to help her consider her pregnancy choice can be found in Deciding about your pregnancy.

What are my rights?

Parents do not have a legal right to make a decision about their daughter’s pregnancy.

However distressed they are by the pregnancy parents do not have the right to make their daughter have an abortion.

If your daughter is 16 or over she does not need parental consent to have an abortion.  If your daughter is under 16 and chooses to have an abortion she can do so without your consent if two doctors agree that she is mature enough to understand the treatment and consequences and that it is in her best interests.

Doctors always encourage young people to involve their parent or carer in the process of accessing abortion, and the vast majority of young people do.